There are times in life when you need to be your own muse.
Sometimes you feel so blue that everything becomes dark and hopeless. You feel all the burden at once in your heart. Just then you realize that heartache is not only felt in the organ.
So you ache inside..
The past and future collides. You expect an explosion but it creates an entropy where everything accumulated brings heat. Eventually, you become heated more than you can bear. It may make you look softer on the outside but it develops a magma deep within your inner core.
So you melt within..
With no one to talk to or no one to lean on, you start feeling lonely too. Not that you don’t have your loved ones around but because you are in a completely different wavelength than everyone else. No one around seems familiar at that moment in time. Even if you want to communicate and tell it all, you know that your words will need interpretation. Little but important parts of you may be lost in translation.
So you don’t tell..
Even sad songs don’t make you sad because you play a sadder one as your own. The rhythm is slow but visuals run as fast speed of light. You lose the grasp of time and forget where you are at the end.
So you don’t sing at all..
All these happen in an instant. Only but only you can be your own muse sometimes.
It is up to you to get lost in this black whole or shake it off of yourself to catch up what you have in life and hold on to them. I believe, no creation is absolute in the universe. Everything is composition of many other things. So as you and your feelings and thoughts about yourself. It is up to you to focus on the positive to move on.
When this happens, just allow yourself for deep diving only to come up to the surface to have a stronger breath. Not only times when we are strong and healthy, but also the times when are weak and broken are valuable. When the prior brings feelings of gratitude to what we have, the latter brings questions and dilemmas that can only help us to discover our true self.
Treat yourself the way you treat your loved ones..
In those moments of despair where you lack motivation to move on try to focus on the moment right then. Not the past, nor the future. There is no need to get lost in regrets for past and concerns of the future. What is given us is the present. You may have brought the wounds of the past and carry the burdens of present but you can only save your future when you accept your present.
Try starting to love yourself with your goods and bads, strengths and weaknesses. Face your reality of yourself and try to make a better version of it.
Be your own muse then..
Sick of holding back from your true needs and wants every time you come across a choice?
Try to do say no to something you have always been holding back to. Say “no” to that offer for a drink, if you don’t feel like faking a smile trying to look ok. Have your space in your alone time and listen to yourself. Say “no” to that extra work you are given at workplace. Just because somebody else does not show any willingness to do it, you should not end up doing it every time. Make your boundaries clear so that people will think twice before they come up to you to ask for what they do not deserve. You can have your TODAY more confident this way. Saying no is always the best self motivation.
Don’t you have any pleasure from the things you do in your daily life? Nothing makes you happy anymore?
Try to excerpt pleasure from the little things. Buy someone in need a lunch. Or try to visit a family who is not as advantageous in life as you. Try to visit the ER in a hospital and spend 20 minutes there. Try to find less fortunate in order to realize the birds in your hands. You will definitely have the motivation to move forward.
Depression, melancholy, despair..
All these are normal emotional states of humankind. As the soberness, happiness and hopefulness are. The point is that you should not treat any of those as permanent but a temporary states where ups and downs make the entire story worth living.
Where ups inspire you to be humble and the downs teach you maturity. Be your own muse in this fluctuant life.
Ohh also,
Don’t forget to love yourself the way you do your loved ones <3